The First Commandments - For Men

[DarkAngel013]

The First Commandments

We always hear "The Rules" from the female side.
Now here are the Rules from the male side
These are our rules! Please note that they are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat on your own. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. WE need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask us for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one...
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong Hints do not work!
Obvious Hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what our girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor!

1. Anything said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days because we don't remember.

1. If you won't dress like Victoria's Secret girls, dint expect us to act like Soap Opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us, because regardless of what we say, it doesn't matter in the end.

1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of those ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Whenever possible, say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. All straight men only see in 16 colors, like the Windows default setting. Peach for example is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit, not a color. We have no clue what mauve is!

1. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you're lying, but it's not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want the answer to, expect to get an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. You have enough clothes

1. You have too many shoes

1. I am in shape. Round is a Shape!


Thank you for reading this. Yes we know we'll probably sleep on the couch tonight for it... But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Plus we get the TV first.

Repost this to as many guys as you can. To give them a laugh. Get as many women to read this as you can... for an even bigger laugh.

~~~

OMG. XD I find this kind of amusing... but it makes a lot of sense.

[Rocket]

Are you a feminist?

[DarkAngel013]

Eh no. XD I just felt like putting this up because it seemed amusing was all. =O

Heck... I don't even know what that means. -.-;;

[wlock]

That really cracked me up. xD What's up there is pretty much true for most guys.

[KelseyEffingRenee]

The First Commandments
1. Learn to work the toilet seat on your own. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. WE need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask us for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one...
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong Hints do not work!
Obvious Hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. If you won't dress like Victoria's Secret girls, dint expect us to act like Soap Opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of those ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. All straight men only see in 16 colors, like the Windows default setting. Peach for example is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit, not a color. We have no clue what mauve is!

Those made me laugh...a lot. Especially the "Christopher Columbus one.
(: