D. Gray-Man Chapters 1 - 130 in an incredibly long nutshell.

[batman808]

Alright, it seems every time I go to read DGM after not looking at it for like, a year, I completely forget everything that happened in the first hundred or so chapters. Instead of going back to read it all over and over again, I decided to make a timeline.

However, it turned out to be more of a joke than informative, but I find it rather useful. So here it is for your viewing pleasure.

It is quite vulgar and most of it does not make sense. There first few (read: 20 or 30) chapters aren't covered in very much detail, while the rest is almost ridiculous. Some of you who like Lenalee might be a little unhappy with me because I talk trash about her quite a bit, but it's mostly pot shots about her crying all the time, so it's not too bad.

If this is in the wrong section, I apologise.

Finally, I give to you, my ridiculous timeline:

- allen and that police chick
- allen at the order
- TENTACLES
- mission with kanda
- mission to find miranda
- lavi+allen at crowleys mansion
- ho shit the worlds gonna end bro
- gotta do something
- lets get on a boat
- i like boats
- hey new clothes
- biker lavi is my favourite lavi
- goddamn lenalee's a whore
- EVRYBUDY LOOOOVES LENALEEEEE
- i guess some plot shit is goin on here
- i think allen is waring it out with kuman or something
- oh hey chomesuke, you're pretty cool
- lenalee's a mary sue and she has SPECHAL BOOTS
- oh shit tyki killed allen
- oh wait no he's ok
- but now he's in asia
- oh god no not asia
- no arm, what the hell
- oh ok he got his arm back
- now were going onto noah's ark
- why is noah's ark colapsing?
- those are some big bobs
- kanda makes a sacrifice... shirtless
- battle jasdebi
- crowley gets a sweetass ability
- i'm actually kinda jealous
- hey look some stairs
- lenalee starts thinking about dead people again
- lol road kissed allen
- HOW ABOUT YOU TAKE A SEAT AND EAT SOME STRAWBERRIES
- i like strawberries, i just might take you up on that offer
- angriest sexual tension glare ever
- goddamnit lenalee stop thinking about dead people
- hey i thought i killed you
- darling you (two) are the only exception(s)
- how about we jump across the table at each other for dramatic effect
- where are your manners? jumping accross tables. the nerve!
- play with me, bookman ;D
- some sexual undertones here
- p-p-p-poker face
- i'm just gonna put the weak and annoying characters into a box, k
- tyki vs allen
- road vs lavi
- I'LL FACE MYSELF
- past lavi is actually pretty hot
- mind if i... whip you with a belt?
- some flashback to komui
- oh look tyki's trying to kill your arm again
- what're you gonna do, boy?
- i'm gonna do the illogical thing and not run away
- DON'T TOUCH MY COMRADE
- y'know, flashbacks are pretty cool
- what the FUCK is a crack cherry
- for someone who's not supposed to be biased or feel love, you were pretty quick to jump off that boat to save a fake dead lenalee
- how the fuck are you supposed to sail a boat across a river of coffins?
- jesus allen is as bad a lenalee
- something about how humans are cool
- his innocence is a mary sue
- i mean his sue-innocence just blew a hole in the left half of tyki's body
- tyki's right side
- wait what? he's ok? nothing happened?
- what the fuck is going on
- u can't break my crown clown down
- REJECT REJECT REJECT REJECT
- rejectulation
- apparently tyki put allen in a vaccuum?
- c-c-can't b-breathe
- jesus christ it looks like lenalee's crying again
- ALLEN STILL WON'T DIE
- that human shit he was preaching earlier
- yeah he mean't superhuman
- because that's what he is
- LOL so tyki just created a honey comb on allens chest
- SYNCRONIZEEE OVER 100%
- oh fuc-KAME HAME HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
- woah something's wrong with hevlaska
- lol so apparently allen can become a general or something
- if that isn't sue-like idk what is
- so let me just rip my arm off and beat you with it
- oh i forgot to mention that my arm turned into a sword
- actually it looks more like a holy block of thin cheese
- that sounds more effective
- CUT A VACCUUM IN HALF
- road is seeing things because she totes mcgoats just saw the milennium earl with the holy block of thin cheese and not allen
- allen cut the noah inside him
- THOU RIPEST THINE FROM DOTH INNER NOAH AND MINE SLENDER FLESH FEELS THE LICK OF RIPEST PAIN
- DOH!! on another note, tyki has the weirdest fucking name ever
- HE DEFEATED THE DEVIL yesssssssssssssssss
- oh welp, looks like road's pissed
- cuz', y'know, allen just killed tyki
- so she puts some candles in chaoji's back
- who the fuck is chaoji anyway
- doesn't matter, road's pissed and i'm pretty sure it has to do with some incestuous love
- oh shit we forgot about lavi
- how's that river of coffins working out for you, buddy
- jesus he's just like lenalee
- why is the reoccuring theme with every single character is their friend's deaths
- i mean seriously i think the writer has some weird fetish with dead people dreams
- oh shit here comes the zombie apoclypse
- this time they have knives
- and you don't have a gun
- something about ink and paper
- IS MY SMILING FACE REAL
- oh shit lavi got a man chin for a panel there
- i kinda like it
- why the hell is allen there
- and why is there an ace of spades
- are we gonna play poker again?
- p-p-p-poker face
- woah, weird alternate demention lavi just smacked dead allen in the face and made his eye pop out
- i'm starting to like this weird alt. lavi
- he doesn't have a retarded headband
- what the hell now dead lenalee and dead kanda are necking him
- now i'm really confused
- oh great they just informed him that his entire life has been a lie
- like we haven't heard that one before
- ok so this whole thing just turning into persona 4 because shadow lavi just told real lavi that I AM YOU AND YOU ARE ME and i am the walrus koo koo kachu
- OK WHERE DID THAT WATER COME FROM. GUYS, I'M SERIOUS, THE COFFIN RIVER WAS ENOUGH
- i guess road just turned lavi into her bitch because now he has with weird evil aura and i seriously think he's about to curb stomp allen
- so apparently lavi's heart died
- he didn't beat the boss :c
- LOL I WAS RIGHT. LAVI IS LITTERALLY CURB STOMPING ALLEN nailed it
- but there's no actual curb so
- oooh looks like some hot man on man action cuz evil!lavi just slammed allen into a wall ;D
- that is an oddly detailed fist
- HOLY SHIT STOP THE WORLD lenalee is crying again
- LOL 'i'm not your comrade' OH NO YOU DIDN'T
- there is a big fire snake
- why is there a big fire snake
- and more importantly, why won't lenalee stop crying
- y'know, lavi has the shittiest life. i mean, honestly, if he isn't considered a workaholic, i dunno who would be. i think he is the only person who would change his name 49 times for his goddamn job
- haha the fire snake is like a hydra
- can't slice off it's heads now can ya allen
- ok i'm seriously bored there hasn't been a change of scenery for like 40 chapters
- welp looks like road's invincible. the final boss, anyone?
- by stabbing himself in his little dream world, lavi regained control over his body or something
- bro is flaming
- flaming hard
- flame on
- raging hard-on
- oh well, by stabbing dead!allen-with-a-popped-out-eye in lavi's drea world, i guess lavi stabbed road
- this series is so goddamn hard to follow for a being of simple mindedness
- alright so everyone's ok now that road and tyki are dead
- the world's collapsing?! GET TO THE CHOPPAH
- welp, allen's opted to stay behind and find kanda and crowley...
- and he wants to grab tyki's human corpse thing?
- looks like chaoji's at it again
- getting angry and shit
- who the fuck is chaoji anyway
- ok so the door died and everyons stuck there... including lenalee
- fucking bitch, why doesn't she just die
- woah something seriously weird is happening with tyki's body
- he went super sayian... or just super noah
- and ripped them a new one
- yiiikes
- chaoji gets some innocence? because there was some near by apparently
- why is there innocence on naoh's ark
- isn't that contradictory
- whatever cross kicks in the door and saves the day with his two innocences
- lucky duck
- well, the milennium earl just grabbed tyki's half dead super sayian body
- and he's carrying the holy block on thin cheese! THE EXACT SAME ONE ALLEN HAS plot plot plot
- stuff is collapsing and lavi is trying to get his hammer to extend so allen can grab onto it
- but uh
- allen broke'd it
- and then he started flipping the fuck out
- well he DID just kills his friends
- kinda
- cross is one classy lady~
- oh shit i didn't realise that noah's ark was in asia
- oh god no not asia
- THE MUSICIAN
- dude the ark has a heart that transfers to new models or something
- HUMEYCOMB
- holy block of thin cheese vs the other holy block of thin cheese
- the earl dissappears
- cross haz a mishun for u

[shin5]

LOL! it's funny to read your thoughts about the chapters XD
some parts makes me ROFL hard XD
keep on going guys. it's already 206 chapters.

but really, dgm is on jump magazine right?
that's mean dgm is a weekly 19-pages manga right?
then because of hoshino sensei's injury it's became monthly after her long hiatus.
and now chapter 205 and 206 spend each 2 month for released. and it's just a 19-pages chapter!
moreover, her drawing style's also changed a lot. too bad for tyki, allen, and lavi cuz i love their appearance (lol)

so that's why i was really disappointed, to be honest.
does anyone knows the cause of that 'soooo-late-release-time'
if it's possible, i also want to cheer hoshino sensei up, but don't know how to (lol)
or maybe, it's because of the lack of its scanlation?

note: my bad English. Warui na

[TykiMikkFan]

Lol, this is halarious! xD
And I find it even funnier cause you sound exactly like my cousin :P

I love how you wrote about Lenalee crying. That's exactly how I react to her tears :P

[WintersBone]

Lol, this is halarious! xD
And I find it even funnier cause you sound exactly like my cousin :P

Yeah, my cousin talk like this too (translated french, I mean), I can't stay serious listening to him.

How about a following ? (I became a fan of yours, can't stand Lenalee too, niark !)

Shin : Dunno for Hoshino... Maybe it's hard to get rid of bad habits ^^
For this month, I read a thing about hollydays or something, but goddamn, dunno if it's true or not...

[shin5]

whoa everyone hates lenalee tears jerk (meh, me too. she is quite exposing so-pure-hearted-like-a-saint character)

Shin : Dunno for Hoshino... Maybe it's hard to get rid of bad habits ^^
For this month, I read a thing about hollydays or something, but goddamn, dunno if it's true or not...

...
well, glad to know she is still alive.

by the way batman-san, how can u forgot about chouji twice? (lol)
dunno why but i laughed when read your comment here. poor chaoji (lol)

[batman808]

Aha, I find Chaoji to be a rather useless thrown-in-the-the-last-minute character. I mean, he ain't pretty like Lavi or Kanda, he doesn't have any real defining character traits (that I can remember...) so whatever.

I haven't read past chapter 130 cuz I kept forgetting the past chapters (hence timeline) so I dunno if he stays past this arc, and even if he does, I'm willing to bet a lot that no one gives a fuck about him.

[WintersBone]

I understand your feeling about him (me too, nehehe !) and I also agree that he isn't the type of character we easily remind of. When I see his face at the Order it's kinda like : "who's that guy ? Never saw him before ! O_____________o " But I don't think it's a matter of beeing pretty or not, though I'm not the one to prefer pretty characters, but it's rather a matter of presence : the fact is that even if he has the innocence (and what pityful innocence that has no power and nothing in particular), he has no distinct trait (psychologically or physically) and is nothing more than a random character (just as Miranda in the very beggining, except the fact that Miranda is even more interesting.

And I don't like her, but at least, I can remember about her !) Maybe with the new chapters we will learn more about him, or maybe he's got a problem of personnaity because he was bullied or whatever. But honestly, I don't give a damn. ^^

Well, now that you have mde this timeline, you can begin reading the 130 - more chapter to write us timeline-v2. Hurry, hurry ! =]

[TykiMikkFan]

I've also always hated Chaoji. I find him useless, stupid, and annoying (plus his innocence sucks). Rhode should've just killed him :P And then when Allen was gonna go get Tyki's body in the ark, he was all like, " No! Don't save a Noah! I'll hate you forever now!" or somethin... and I was like, "Go die Chaoji. People like Tyki better then you -_- "

Lol my little rant about Chaoji :P

[Sinamon]

funny stuff :-) reminds me a little of pensulliwen's CAPSLOCK DGM SUMMARIES on fanfiction.net. its hilarious. i hope all of you will go read it as well. it is a great (and did i mention hilarious?) summary of the all the wtf-ness during the kanda/alma arc. she has almost caught up and is on chapter 203 so i'm eagerly awaiting to see what she'll do with the recent DGM chapters. here's the link to the funny....you'll love it...

CAPSLOCK DGM SUMMARIES Chapter 188, a d.gray-man fanfic - FanFiction.Net

as for lenalee crying all the time, yes, i'm going to defend her a bit. she's 16 years old and just got through laying her life on the line for the sake of her friends only to find out that her innocence has rejected her and all she can do now is watch as her friends are being pummeled or mind-raped. for someone who's used to being able to act and protect her loved ones (since that is her major reason for using her powers as an exorcist, really), she finds herself unable to life a finger to help them. she is a persona non grata to her enemies and a failure to her friends. watching all that happen before your very eyes, i think the emotional response would be quite tear-inducing as well, especially for someone who's usually able to take action on behalf of her comrades.

notice that when her tears come, she's not sobbing or sniffling or going "waaaaaaaah!!", etc. tears are flowing out of her eyes because of her huge frustration and fear or loss. so, i cannot and will not fault her for shedding tears during highly emotional times when her hands are bound and she's unable to contribute or help. however, i will admonish hoshino for making her cry when there's nothing really going on and she just wells up. THAT i do find annoying.

okay, getting off soapbox. please do read the CAPSLOCK DGM SUMMARIES, you'll thank me later :-P

p.s. - chaoji can suck it.

[TykiMikkFan]

funny stuff :-) reminds me a little of pensulliwen's CAPSLOCK DGM SUMMARIES on fanfiction.net. its hilarious. i hope all of you will go read it as well. it is a great (and did i mention hilarious?) summary of the all the wtf-ness during the kanda/alma arc. she has almost caught up and is on chapter 203 so i'm eagerly awaiting to see what she'll do with the recent DGM chapters. here's the link to the funny....you'll love it...

I read it and..... it......... was.......... HALARIOUS