The Middle Ground, Ch. One

[Lai Jun Chen]

i have this fic posted on FF.net as well, but I thought I'd see how I like this site as well. Please tell me how you like my fic!


The Middle Ground
Capital G, by Nine Inch Nails


Chapter One: Introducing Allen

~Allen Walker

I push the button and elected him to office (and uh),
I pushed the button and he dropped the bomb
You push the button and you watch on the television,
Those mother fuckers didn't last too long,

Allen Walker. Exorcist. Moyashi. Destroyer of Time. Savior. The 14th. The Clown of God. The Musician of Noah.
Allen Walker was a sixteen year old boy whose life was filled with hatred, abuse, and abandonment. Abandoned and abused because of his disfigured arm. Shunned and hated because of his hair color. Traumatized by his teacher. And always left behind.
This was the child chosen by God to save the world. Allen had certainly not chosen to be a savior. Not exactly. Rather he'd been mentally and emotionally scarred and then guilt-tripped into the role. (Paying for one little sin for all eternity.)
Despite his tragic past Allen was eternally loving and forgiving. And despite these characteristics he was certainly not as naive as people seemed to think. He was neither blind nor stupid. It was more that he willfully ignored the ugly things in his world. Love, fight, forgive, repeat. Endlessly. If he ever stopped he would have to face reality.

I'm sick of hearing of the have's and the have-nots,
Have some personal accountability.
The biggest problem with the way that we've been doing things is
The more we let you have the less that I'll be keeping for me.

Allen would have to face the fact that the organization and many of the people he fought for were as corrupt as the Earl and the Akuma. At least the Akuma had not wittingly become monsters, had not knowingly committed to evil.
When Allen realized that he was assisting evil men, men who committed atrocities in the name of righteousness, he began to wonder why he chose to continue on their path. After all, most of his superiors wouldn't even take responsibility for the deaths they caused. They had no sense of personal accountability. When they knowingly sent Exorcists on suicide missions it wasn't wrong, it wasn't murder. It was only an Exorcist's job to be the church's soldier, to obey orders, to give everything, even their lives, to the cause. They were expendable. They were the Order's most necessary commodity, yet they were, perhaps, the least cared for and most frequently sacrificed. Why should he stay?
Allen was the only one who saw the Akuma for what they really were, the only one willing to see what they were: sad, lonely souls who had been conned into slavery by a devil in disguise. They were souls who had been preyed upon during a time of weakness. These souls had not knowingly become murderers as the Order had when they'd forced Innocence into incompatible people. The Order, the Church, didn't see this as wrong, as murder, but as something necessary for the war, for the tiniest possibility of gaining new soldiers for their war- more canon fodder. It was done for God, for His army, so it was all right. Why was he staying?
All of this was done in the name of everything that was supposed to be Holy. These things, these crimes were done in the name of God and if their God truly approved of all of this then Allen never wanted to know their God. Allen no longer knew why he was staying.
All Allen could see of his side, of the Order, was a collection of corrupt fools who took no responsibility for their actions, blaming it on necessity, on the war, the Noah. Blaming anyone else they felt like for the evils of the world. Always assuming their God would forgive every misdeed, every murder if it was done 'in His name.' And the more of himself he gave them to fight this war the less of himself he recognized, ever less of himself was he able to hold onto. They preached and demanded goodness and self-sacrifice -perfection- of others, but never bothered with it themselves. Thus, good, self-sacrificing, saintly, Allen Walker began to slip away... from himself most of all.

Well I used to stand for something,
Now I'm on my hands and knees.
Trading in my god for this one,
And he signs his name with a capital G.

Allen Walker was the Order's personal mascot. To most of the Exorcists he stood for everything they fought for. At first, while terribly embarrassed and confused as to why people would think of him that way, he was simply glad to, in some odd way, be of help to others. Allen just wanted to help...
All of that seemed like so long ago. So much fighting, so much change -for the better, for the worst. But it had been their expectations that brought him to his hands and knees. Fight, save, support, repeat. Endlessly.
Certainly, finding out that the Noah were human and that he'd be expected to kill them -kill humans of any sort- was not helping. Neither was the new existence of the Third Exorcists. More grief. More guilt. That seemed his only reward in this war. The god they said he fought for, whose very existence he seriously doubted, appeared intent on drowning his 'favorite' apostle in guilt. This god of theirs seemed to think that guilt served well as both motivation and prize. Allen almost wished he believed in the idea of a god now. At least then he could trade for a new one that brought him something other than pain.


Thank you for reading
~Lai Jun Chen

[Art of Music]

reading this makes me wonder if he really thinks that. Poor boy, very good start.

[Rhode]

Hmm.. Nice so far.
I don't think Allen thinks like that, Which is Why we like him. This is more so a story of what WE would think ifwe wereAllen. Likeing it though.
God signs his name with a capital G? Timmothy? xD jokes

[Llaimrid]

woohoo!!! i hope allen really thought that way of the order cause i also think that the order is the bad one and the noah are just countering it..hehe


just remember..... I LOVE IT!!!